I cannot look at you anymore
Just a glance makes time go in reverse,
makes me go in reverse
I feel numb at times
thinking about where life has taken us
thinking about where life could have taken us
I get sick sometimes
when I dwell on it too long and I cry
when I don’t know you anymore, you are dead to me
Death
A welcome gift to the weary at heart
a chosen gift for the wise
to grow, learn….not guess anymore what happens
to really know, feel, believe it and have the desires you seek
I want to look at you
I want to see you as you were years ago
“free”
To what purpose now?
I sometimes cannot bear the pain of restraint
not pulling that picture out to see your smile
making myself not look, not see your eyes, your hands
I loved your hands
I came to you
being advised not to by those who know more than I
I came anyway
thinking of the joy it would bring me to glance upon perfection
knowing the peace it would bring, the smile to my heart
as you always did
and it was not there
you were
sleeping
peaceful
I love you
it hurt so bad
to see you there
peace was cast to hell
joy was brutally slaughtered before my eyes
my smile ripped from me like the skin being ripped from my body
exposing my heart
leaving it to wither and dry
To die
I turned away
I thought nothing could cut the golden strand
tis not true my love
tears from a broken heart can
and I wanted to so bad
to remain
staying out there forever
wandering
with my friend, caretaker
the one who did not disappear
time no longer spins along the endless circle
the drum no longer beats with my own heart
it leads me down another path
before me awaits a journey unknown
before me awaits birth
before me awaits the end
I am going back
I desire not to
I desire you
what shall never be
you are no longer there
Cheating
I feel guilt
sneaking up on you
checking in on you
should I be punished
only I know how
I am going back
Time is going back
I cannot see you through the tears anymore
I cannot feel you in the fog
I cannot sense you are there, anywhere
It kills
me
us
you
I am going back
to the end
But
I love you
Did you ever really know?