I hate you

Do you understand that? Sit there and give me that blank stare like you cannot comprehend life. Sit there and look through me, seeing your dreams on the other side. Fuck me, Fuck mine, Fuck us…it was all nothing and

I hate you

Can you feel it? Can you hear it? Can you taste it? Can you smell it?

Digest it you bastard. I cannot handle this anymore, I cannot handle you anymore. My frustration has taken control and there is no rationality anymore. Because

I hate you

I have tried, lied, stood up for you, made the excuses that your blank stare cannot. Spoken when you could not. Dealt with it all, every second of every single day while you sit there looking through me, staring through me at some reality on the other side that only you are aware of

SPEAK TO ME….

I HATE YOU…..

You cannot hear my silence, you cannot hear my love, you cannot hear my SCREAMS!!!!!!!! SO

I HATE YOU

You stare, hours and hours, you stare, you read, you think….WHAT????? What do you think? Tell me, even if you hate me…TELL ME! Speak to me, scream to me, beat me with your words, bruise me with anything other than your blank stare

I HATE YOU

I cannot eat another meal alone. I cannot sleep another night alone. I cannot cope another day ALONE….A thousand words I have said, a thousand times I have touched your face, trying to bring you back and I CANNOT FIND YOU ANYMORE…..I CANNOT FEEL YOU ANYMORE

I hate you

I gave up a lifetime for you, happiness for you, I CHOSE YOU, I could have been loved, I had no clue he could have loved me and by the time I knew you were here and…

I hate you

Can you not remember, anything, feel…..anything. Is it all gone, nothing there of us inside you, what is there? TELL ME……let me see…..DAMMIT…..SPEAK TO ME. CUT ME, LET ME, BLEED ME….ANYTHING. Days have slipped into weeks and now weeks into months….will the months go into years with no touch, no words, no communication, no companionship….NO YOU??????

I HATE YOU

and I hate me