Lying here in the bed, I hear the wild goose on the clock, letting me know what time it is. Did Chris really tell me he was going to his Mother’s, or was it just another one of those dreams? I say his name out loud and my voice seems somewhat unnatural today. There was not answer, it was reality this time.    Today I have battled one of “Those” headaches. Hoping it is not a cluster migraine, trying to ignore it, thinking if I pretend it is not there it will go away. Nausea sets in and I know this is going to be a rough day. Still there were things needing to be done so I divided my time between work and covering my head to avoid all light and sound.    Rain came early today. The gutter was complete and it gave us a chance to discover our mistakes and eventually fix them. The angle was a bit off and a few issues were noticed. The rain came hard and yet the three of us, Chris, Lakota and myself, managed to collect about 150 gallons of water in a short time. 150 gallons! That is enough to last a few weeks, a little to spare for a flea/tick dip for Cletus.  There was a bit of fun in there, working in the pouring rain, moving barrels, funnels and metal buckets. Shortly after, the headache gave me a quick reminder it was still there and not ready to play nice. I laid down for a few minutes, started thinking about how it will hurt whether working or still, so I got back up to tackle laundry and dishes. I took Lakota home and thought maybe if I rest my head a bit, just a short nap, it may go away. The rain had stopped and the Sun was out, much to the dismay of my head as the bright light pierced my eyes like daggers. But still, I slept.    IN my sleep I was preparing for a trip. It must have been a nature/outdoor trip as I have gathered tents, lanterns, backpack, etc. Someone was helping me, but I could not tell who it was. I was anxious for my journey and reached to retrience the backpack from a hook. Somehow the hook jabbed into my upper arm and split my arm open to the wrist. Blood poured and I had only one thought: When I die, who will find the persimmon tree? I know this thought came to mind because I know there is a persimmon tree on this property somewhere and I just have not had the time to look for and locate it yet. The person helping me, who remained faceless and nameless, said, “You will if you want to and where it stands, your cabin stands also.” So I reached up and took a thin twig from a tree and began sewing my arm back together. When done, I walked into a tiny log cabin and put a small piece of wood in a tiny pot belly stove. I sat down in a wooden rocking chair and looked at the wound. The tiny twig was persimmon. 

 I woke up shortly and said Chris’ name in the silence. He was gone and the house was so very quiet. Cletus was asleep on the porch. I hugged my pillow and watched a storm cloud come in from the west. “Please bring more rain” I said silently, “hide my eyes from the bright Sun just a bit longer”.  At the feeders, I watched a Cardinal couple share seed. Once in awhile a chickadee, titmouse and a sparrow would show up. Eventually the hummingbird showed up and seemed delighted that I filled his feeder. This morning he flitted back and forth in front of the bedroom window to let me know it was dry. The doe crossed the driveway in the lower field, her baby hidden safely in the woods, while she gets her nourishment to continue to feed. I noticed movement to my right and watched as a grey fox made its way along the blackberry patch, slowly, quietly and eventually heading through the trees to the branch. Cutie licked my hand and the sky drew darker. I did not have to shade my eyes with my hand anymore. The clouds became thick and dark with a heavy smell of rain in the air. 

 Far down the driveway I saw the Buick. Chris was on his way home. “I brought you a yellow popsicle”, he said as he kissed my head. All thing beautiful, in happiness, sadness, success, failure, heartache, pain and total peace…cannot compare to Chris’ smile, as it tops the list of pure beauty.  As fast as he arrived he was gone, in the truck. Off to haul wood from the top of the hill so we can finish the front porch. As he returned, so did the rain. 

 Sometimes, when we think we fix things, they are not so fixed. They look fixed and your intentions are good but a wee bit of turmoil and you discover the “mending” was not as successful as you had hoped for.  As the rain poured harder, huge drops falling from the sky, we discovered two things: 1) the gutter still leaked and 2) one downspout is NOT enough. As I saw the beautiful drops of rain hitting the ground, I saw less water for baths, dishes, laundry and animals. Apparently Chris did as well. I arranged containers to catch as much as I could as my headache begged me to go back to bed. I did and the soft bed felt wonderful. Not long afterwards, Chris opened the door. “Honey, I need you”. In attempts to fix the downspout, the entire thing came loose from the house.  I stripped my clothes off (my body is much easier to dry than soaking wet clothes) and I headed out barefoot. There we were, in pouring rain, Chris on a ladder, me beneath…getting soaked from the leaky gutter. We rigged this and that, hunted more barrels, made several trips in, thinking we were done, only to dry off and end up heading back out again. At one point, with water soaking every inch of skin, dripping everywhere, several wet towels, we walked in the back door and laughed. As we were hugging each other, laughing, we both agreed – yeah – that was kinda fun.

  I ran to the outhouse in the rain, nude, smiling, my feet splashing water as I ran through the puddles. The sound of the door shutting gave me another reminder that my headache was still hanging on. BUT… The outhouse did not leak. Today we collected well over 200 gallons of water! I am glad Chris is home.  I tried to slip out the door and run back to the hours with as little noise as possible. Appeasing the pain, looking forward to a dry bed and a pen and paper to write my thoughts.  As I went by the back of the house, I noticed one leak in the gutter, rain was pouring from it into a barrel. Temptation was too strong.

I grabbed the shampoo, razor, soap and Chris moved the barrel. It was the best shower I think I have ever had. The rain water felt perfect on my body.    There is so much in life to be grateful for!